resonation

This is my final semester singing with the Tupelos, Wellesley College's oldest a cappella group. (we were founded in 1948, suck it widows).


That is a strange thing to think about. The members of the Tupelos have been some of my dearest friends on campus, and some of the women I have looked up to and respected most. Coming back to find many of them graduated and to grow to love the whole new group of underclasswomen has been a long journey, but I once again feel like this is my family on campus. I have my friends I live with, and my friends I sing with.


We have an alumnae song that we sing at almost every performance where there might be alums of the group, and we sing it most importantly on the night we take new members. This semester, "tapping" occurred on a stormy, dismal evening. I was part of the gang that insisted upon going outside, to our special spot on the lake, as we always have done, in order to do our special ceremonies. The group finally gave in, and we stood close in a circle, made a canopy of umbrellas, and over one lit, red candle, sang this song: 

During the time of which I speak
It was hard to turn the other cheek
To the blows of insecurity
Feeding the cancer of my intellect
The blood of love soon neglected
Lay dying in the strength of its impurity

Meanwhile our friends we thought were so together
They've all gone and left each other
In search of fairer weather
And we sit here in our storm and drink a toast
To the slim chance of love's recovery

There I am in younger days, star gazing
Painting picture perfect maps
Of how my life and love would be
Not counting the unmarked paths of misdirection
My compass, faith in love's perfection
I missed ten million miles of road I should have seen

Meanwhile our friends we thought were so together
Left each other one by one
On the road to fairer weather
And we sit here in our storm and drink a toast
To the slim chance of love's recovery

Rain soaked and voice choked
Like silent screaming in a dream
I search for my absolute distinction
Not content to bow and bend
To the whims of culture, the swoop like vultures
Eating us away, eating us away
Eating us away to our extinction

Oh how I wish I were a trinity
So if I lost a part of me
I'd still have two of the same to live
But nobody gets a lifetime rehearsal
As specks of dust we're universal
To let this love survive would be the
Greatest gift we could give

Tell all the friends who think they're so together
That these are ghosts and mirages
All these thoughts of fairer weather
Though it's storming out, I feel safe
Within the arms of love's discovery

I find this song popping into my head all of the time lately. It's a beautiful thing--I feel like I understand the full depth of the journey it is describing. This song has lived with me since my second semester of Wellesley, and it rings truer than ever. That is the beauty of music, how it grows and changes as I do. And through it all, it is amazing to feel the love and support of these women. That is what I came to Wellesley seeking---beautiful friendships that would change me and open my eyes to the possibilities of the world. And I still have a few months left (and then a lifetime), to bask in love's discovery.

-lab