beauty-making

One of my earliest childhood memories is of the way I took care of my hair.

From a very early age, I insisted on keeping my light brown hair as long as possible. It was very straight and not too thick, and flowed to the middle of my back. My mother used to trim all of my siblings' hair outside on the picnic table with her special pair of scissors. I remember hair trimming would usually coincide with teatime, in which I got to put 7 sugar cubes into one tiny cup of english breakfast tea with milk. It was always in my Miss Tiggy Winkle cup, so it was very special.

My sister and I had a terrible time with snarls at the base of our necks, until my mother came up with the rule that every night before bed, we had to braid our hair into two braids (you know, she's a Wellesley woman). She refused to do it, but taught us how to braid our hair so that we each could take care of it. We could only keep our long, beautiful, brown hair if we could take care of it.

As I grew older, my hair turned darker, wildly curly, and thick. It became hard to manage, but I did the best I could. In middle school while on a church missions trip, I learned how to French braid. After the trip, I remember standing in the bathroom of our summer cottage for hours one stormy afternoon, braiding my own hair until my arms ached from the angle and until my braids were perfect. From that point on, I started doing everyone else's hair around, in addition to my own.

This progressed through highschool, when I did my own hair for my formals, and won junior prom queen with a dress I got on sale and a hairstyle I stole from "Pride and Prejudice". I even made my own little bobby pins with pearls on the end. However, I kept on doing hair styles for my friends as well. I'm one of my sister's go-to hair stylists, and basically won the love of our best friend's insane mom by how well I did my sister's hair for her friend's wedding last summer. Seriously, my friend's mom treats me so much nicer and is always ecstatic to see me, it's a creepy sudden shift. But I can't complain.

All of this was brought to my mind by this past weekend. Saturday night, the House Presidents hosted a formal in the Alumnae Ballroom, complete with a fantastic live performance by the Harvard "Nostalgics", a motown 12-piece band. At Tupelos rehearsal a few nights beforehand, it came out that 3 different friends of mine were planning to have me do their hair (news to me!). So, Saturday night, we all gathered in my closet of a room, drank wine, ate snacks, and setup a hair salon. I gave each friend a different hair style, we helped each other with makeup, and we decided what jewelery to wear, and it was almost funner than the dance itself. What is it with women and our joy of getting ready together? We crave the approval of others, yes, but I think it is far deeper than that. I believe that women are naturally wired not only to want to feel beautiful, but to help others feel beautiful. Every mother wants her daughter to feel beautiful, but it also goes between friends. It is always a joy to do someone's hair or makeup, because I love the chance to make someone feel as beautiful as they should be feeling every. single. day.

Too many women in the world struggle with self-image issues. Is it then any longer a question why women in general love getting their hair and nails done? It is therapeudic; massaging areas on our bodies which are flooded with nerve endings---I always save the hairdresser for a time I'm really stressed out, and then I get a wash, a scalp massage, and then my cut. Doing my friend's hair Saturday helped each of them to calm down and to feel beautiful, but also stimulated nerves that are biologically soothing and comforting. In our crazily stressed lives of the 21st century, we could always use a bit more of that kind of treatment. We also could afford to hear more often, that we are beautiful. It's not always enough to keep telling yourself that, and it's nothing to be ashamed of.

In one very small, beautiful way, this is something special about women. We like to help each other be as beautiful as possible.

If I think about it, that could sum up my entire college experience at Wellesley. While here, I have helped others discover their beauty, both inner and outer. My dear friends have no idea how much they have done this for me, too ---

-lab