a moment--
is exactly what i haven't had to sit down and write in 2 weeks.
but it's exactly what the last two weeks have been; a thousandmillionzillion moments blending and blurring one into the next, more beautiful that the last. How have I celebrated my birthday, finished exams, planted trees, seen old friends after months, flown to Berlin and back, danced so hard my feet bled and bruised, and gave a final solo performance in the chapel all in the last two weeks?
No wonder I feel a bit, well, overwhelmed by the amount of events clogging my mind for re-hash, re-visiting, and my favorite German word, nachdenken. It literally means "after-thinking", so to think back, reflect.
Oh, I forgot to mention that I gave a final second round interview for a job I would be happy to tears to be offered, and am still waiting to hear back about another job possibility as well. And, tomorrow the Red Class of 2012 graduates.
How does all of this happen?
I noticed last night, while at the Colonnade Hotel in Boston for the Senior Gala, that I've subconsciously devised a tactic for dealing with the fact that I haven't had time to write or be still much in the last few weeks. The room was full of friends and loved ones dancing and enjoying themselves, and every so often I would just sit and watch and smile. This happened earlier, at dinner too. These little tiny moments of pulling myself out of the picture and just enjoying the contentment of seeing everyone I love being truly themselves (aka Mika dancing crazy, Hilary being a total weirdo, and Joho a glamor queen). Maybe this sounds silly, but I found myself picturing exactly what each of our wedding receptions would be like someday, full of people we love and moments we're savoring, and with everyone being fully themselves.
Fully enjoying just---being together.
That, for me, is really what I'm sad about, as far as graduation goes. Get me the hell out of the dorm, away from dorm food, and into a place of my own. I'm ready. But I'm going to miss this community like nothing else. Having everything and everyone I need just a few doors away or up a floor or two. That will never happen again.
In June, I'll have plenty of time at the lake in Michigan to write and write and write until I use up all of the pens in the house. Until then, let the fun, excitement, dancing, picture-taking, and time with family and friends continue.
Here's to us, the Red Class!
-LB
Thursday, May 24, 2012
Thursday, May 3, 2012
irgendwann
I get made fun of a lot at work about my adoration of wedding blogs.
One of the first pinterest boards (irgendwann) I started last July was in fact, a wedding idea board. But my love for wedding planning and dreaming has existed...since I was really little. Actually, even before high school. and middle school. Let's just say, my favorite Halloween costume was of me in a white dress. And it wasn't a zombie queen or a fairy, it was just a plain old bride. I think I wore that costume at least 2 or 3 years in a row in elementary school, until it was phased out by the authentic Japanese geisha girl robe my Great-Grandma Mimi bought in Japan on one of her many steamboat travels to the far side of the world.
Needless to say, I was a little upset years later upon reading Memoirs of a Geisha to find out what I had been dressing up as all those years. Gee, thanks, mom.
When I was little, I dreamt about a 2 key things all the time. The first was to be discovered by an agent who would whisk me off to California and have me star in remakes of all of my favorite childhood fantasy books. We're talking Ella in Ella Enchanted (imagine my FURY at the horrible Anne Hathaway excuse for a rendition of the book I read bi-monthly from the age of 11-15), Lucy in the Chronicles of Narnia, and Agba (the mute stable boy...) in King of the Wind, my favorite horse book. What else did I dream about?
Well, falling in love and getting married. I honestly believe that my love of letter writing stems from the 50+ times that i have read Ella Enchanted. There is an entire section of the book where she and Char send each other letters, with different fonts for the different handwriting (Ella's was cramped and rushed, Char had a wide, smooth grace to his script), and this section was always my favorite. If I think back on all of the relationships I've had, there was always a focus on sending letters. The first summer I was in love, I wrote my boy a letter every single day, sitting in a willow tree over the lake at Interlochen, MI. I don't kid around. I was going to do it like they did in the books, and the books I read had heroines who got it done.
I would be lying if I told you that I didn't have more than 1 or 2 different schemes for my wedding. At various stages of my adolescent and young adult life, I have found myself intricately planning what it would be like, if I had to do it all right then and there. One version involves a ceremony at the tiny white church on the hill in Topinabee across the lake in Michigan, and the getaway "boat" waiting for us, complete with streamers to match the white and teal colors of our Donzi speadboat. Another idea was to have it take place in the chapel at Wellesley, in October.
Plans and ideas have only become more tangible these days because of a)the internet b)pinterest and c)my job. Over the summer, I spent entire days on pinterest, and my co-workers fed my addiction with more blogs. But it's funny, the more I look at past ideas, the more I realize I don't have my heart set on anything in particular. Some of my Wellesley friends with serious boyfriends have everything (we're talking E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G) already planned out, and have super high expectations. I find that...annerving.
Sure, the first thing is actually having a relationship that lasts more than a few months, which hasn't been the case in the last few years. And, let's get real, I am not really in the mood to be finding anything serious for a while. It's fun---being free and young, especially at weddings. But it is nice, to check in with myself and my pinterest board, and feel chill with the fact that, no matter how much I plan and dream and scheme, real life will be different. And real life, will probably be even more beautiful than I could ever imagine or plan.
So, bring it on.
In the meantime, I'll be busy pinterest-ing, thanks.
One of the first pinterest boards (irgendwann) I started last July was in fact, a wedding idea board. But my love for wedding planning and dreaming has existed...since I was really little. Actually, even before high school. and middle school. Let's just say, my favorite Halloween costume was of me in a white dress. And it wasn't a zombie queen or a fairy, it was just a plain old bride. I think I wore that costume at least 2 or 3 years in a row in elementary school, until it was phased out by the authentic Japanese geisha girl robe my Great-Grandma Mimi bought in Japan on one of her many steamboat travels to the far side of the world.
Needless to say, I was a little upset years later upon reading Memoirs of a Geisha to find out what I had been dressing up as all those years. Gee, thanks, mom.
When I was little, I dreamt about a 2 key things all the time. The first was to be discovered by an agent who would whisk me off to California and have me star in remakes of all of my favorite childhood fantasy books. We're talking Ella in Ella Enchanted (imagine my FURY at the horrible Anne Hathaway excuse for a rendition of the book I read bi-monthly from the age of 11-15), Lucy in the Chronicles of Narnia, and Agba (the mute stable boy...) in King of the Wind, my favorite horse book. What else did I dream about?
Well, falling in love and getting married. I honestly believe that my love of letter writing stems from the 50+ times that i have read Ella Enchanted. There is an entire section of the book where she and Char send each other letters, with different fonts for the different handwriting (Ella's was cramped and rushed, Char had a wide, smooth grace to his script), and this section was always my favorite. If I think back on all of the relationships I've had, there was always a focus on sending letters. The first summer I was in love, I wrote my boy a letter every single day, sitting in a willow tree over the lake at Interlochen, MI. I don't kid around. I was going to do it like they did in the books, and the books I read had heroines who got it done.
I would be lying if I told you that I didn't have more than 1 or 2 different schemes for my wedding. At various stages of my adolescent and young adult life, I have found myself intricately planning what it would be like, if I had to do it all right then and there. One version involves a ceremony at the tiny white church on the hill in Topinabee across the lake in Michigan, and the getaway "boat" waiting for us, complete with streamers to match the white and teal colors of our Donzi speadboat. Another idea was to have it take place in the chapel at Wellesley, in October.
Plans and ideas have only become more tangible these days because of a)the internet b)pinterest and c)my job. Over the summer, I spent entire days on pinterest, and my co-workers fed my addiction with more blogs. But it's funny, the more I look at past ideas, the more I realize I don't have my heart set on anything in particular. Some of my Wellesley friends with serious boyfriends have everything (we're talking E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G) already planned out, and have super high expectations. I find that...annerving.
Sure, the first thing is actually having a relationship that lasts more than a few months, which hasn't been the case in the last few years. And, let's get real, I am not really in the mood to be finding anything serious for a while. It's fun---being free and young, especially at weddings. But it is nice, to check in with myself and my pinterest board, and feel chill with the fact that, no matter how much I plan and dream and scheme, real life will be different. And real life, will probably be even more beautiful than I could ever imagine or plan.
So, bring it on.
In the meantime, I'll be busy pinterest-ing, thanks.
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
tats
I had one of those moments today, where I in a flash saw myself being so serious and someone else being so genuinely not-so.
Those are always funny.
So I thought about it for two minutes. If I were to get a tattoo not full of deeper meaning and the central yearning in my soul (which is to travel and fall more in love with the world), what would I get?
First idea: "Jingle Bells" to make me giggle and think about silliness in Vienna, and because I wish it could be Christmas every day.
Second idea: "barbed wire" around my bicep, but made of forget-me-nots instead of spikes.
:D
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